On Self-Love and Finding My Voice: Kiara Anderson
Two, of many, fruitful things to emerge during my time at Wesley were, one, learning to love myself and, two, discovering my voice. This journey began during the first year of Race Talks. Being a young, Black woman, I had yet to experience such raw, unadulterated emotion from other people of color, and the reaction to this was met by many emotions but, most importantly, compassion. Naturally, I felt loved, seen, and heard. Reminiscing on those moments, it is clear now that seeds were planted in my soul, seeds that would one day empower and equip me to use my voice for myself and others.
As I transitioned into the Wesley internship, self-love manifested itself beautifully on Longleaf Farm. My farming experience ushered in gratitude for the color of skin that God entrusted to me. One day, while tilling the soil, something occurred to me. I remember thinking about how soil is life-nurturing, dark, and good for the earth. It’s essential. God created it, and He also created me, which meant that I was good and I, too, belonged here on Earth. The lies that my existence was an afterthought or a byproduct of sin fell apart. By abandoning those lies, I felt free to encourage others to truly believe that they, too, are good. Another benefit of farming was the opportunity to dream and share those dreams. After realizing, for myself, that being Black was good, I needed to share that proclamation. The need to share it came in a dream and hope to teach Black history in its entirety so that young brown people would also learn to be proud of their skin and existence on the Earth.
Near the end of the internship, I asked Ryan, the director, if he could provide a mini-workshop on life after Wesley for the staff. Honestly, I was afraid to leave because the future was full of questions and uncertainties. Should we, my husband and I, leave our family and friends so that I could pursue a degree? Do we really want to move to a new state and city? How are we going to afford this? Is this God? Thankfully, in that meeting we were reminded that tolerance is not a Christian value, but love is. In theory, I could spend the rest of my life accepting that most teachers are either unsuited for or disinterested in teaching Black history, but to do this would very much be tolerance. However, I believe that love looks like walking alongside other educators in figuring out how we can remedy the lack of curriculum or impartiality. Love also looks like correcting word choice and confronting biases. This encouragement, along with pieces of advice, is what was needed for me to move forward.
Finally, my husband, Hunter, and I left. We moved to a new state with hopes to pursue my dream. This transition in life has challenged me to practice what I’ve learned and preached to others during my time at Wesley. I have found that it is easier to turn the other cheek, call out sin, and have difficult conversations when the parties involved are people you love and care about dearly. Consequently, the same is not as true when the people you are called to love, not just tolerate, are sexist, elitist, or racist. Nevertheless, we must educate them, for to do so is love. I would not be in this place, mentally and physically, if it weren’t for Christ dwelling in our community in ways seen and unseen. I pray that I can continue to galvanize others into loving themselves and using their voices for the edification of Christ.
Kiara Anderson is a beloved member of the Wesley community who served as an intern for the 2018-2019 year. After teaching and loving the first grade students of Cedars International Academy in Austin, Texas for two years, Ki is currently applying to graduate school with the goal of becoming a teacher of Black History in the future. Kindness, compassion, wisdom, and boldness are just a few of the many gifts that are evident in Ki’s life. She is an incredible woman, teacher, and friend who has a way of making everyone she meets feel cared for, heard, and loved.