Homily: Sarah Bourgeois

Matthew 14:22-33

22 Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. 25 And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. 26 But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”

28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

I felt my call to ministry during my internship at the Wesley Foundation at Louisiana Tech. As a student there, I was pulled further into my faith than I had ever gone before. I witnessed true community, and it challenged me in ways that changed my walk with Christ forever. It was a dream to live life amongst so many faithful brothers and sisters. When I came to the end of my college career, everyone encouraged me to apply for the internship that the Wesley offered. Interns were looked up to as spiritual advisers and leaders, and everything inside me screamed that I was not fit for the job. But I felt a voice in the back of my mind calling me. So, after much prayer, and like Peter in this passage, I decided: “Lord if it is you, command me to come out onto the water.” I took the steps to apply, got an interview, and was offered a position. 

Even though I stepped out onto that “water,” I found myself in doubt constantly. My fellow interns and I were in tears many times throughout our internship because ministry is hard. Carrying the burdens of your brothers and sisters is hard. Shepherding college students and asking them to follow you as you follow Christ can be emotionally and spiritually draining. I would feel unqualified. I would get intimidated. The wind and the waves caught my attention more often than I’d like to admit. I would forget that Jesus Himself was the one who called me. 

This reading in Matthew is the only Gospel to include Peter in this miracle, and I’m glad it does. Here we see Peter struggle with something quite familiar, and, thankfully, we get to learn something very comforting from it.

This miracle picks up as Jesus disperses the crowds after feeding the five thousand. He sends the disciples ahead of Him on a boat while He goes up to the mountain alone to pray. All the while, the disciples are caught in a nasty storm on the sea. The scripture says it is in the fourth watch of the night, which is 3am-6am. So, somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, they see Jesus approaching them on the water...by foot. At first, they are so caught off guard, they believe Him to be an apparition. But when Peter realizes it is Him, he calls out, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” So, He calls Peter out onto the sea, and the scripture says, “Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.””

Every sermon I’ve heard preached on this miracle simply told me to never doubt. Peter becomes the punching bag of the story, at which we roll our eyes, ready to rebuke him just as Jesus has to do. He had just witnessed Jesus feed 5,000 people, so why does Peter doubt while out on the water? Sounds similar to the Israelites in the Old Testament who would just as soon forget God’s provision as they would doubt or complain about something new. Again, while reading their stories, it is easy to get huffy, wondering how they could be so hard-headed and near-sighted. It seems so obvious on the outside looking in that God would provide based on His track record. But I have been the Israelites. I have been Peter. I’ve seen great miracles worked in my own life and turned around and doubted about the very next thing. And I bet you have, too. We live in a broken world where people are diagnosed with cancer, babies die after living only one month in a NICU, jobs are lost, family relationships are estranged, marriages fail... the devastating list goes on. How could anyone flip their doubts off like a switch? So, I always walked away from these sermons feeling afraid that God was disappointed in me. If I wasn’t supposed to doubt, I had already failed. 

But it is impossible to completely rid ourselves of things that cause doubt. We as Christians are not promised lives devoid of things to worry about, no matter how disciplined or faithful we are. The comfort is that the Lord is gracious to allow us to question. Thankfully, doubt does not exempt us from salvation. 

I think of John the Baptist: regarded as the greatest among men who spent his entire life preparing the way for the Lord, who leapt in his mother’s womb at the presence of Jesus in Mary’s womb, who baptized Jesus in the Jordan, who watched the Spirit of the Lord descend like a dove, and who heard the voice of God. Surely, he had enough proof that Jesus could do all things. But, while alone in prison, John began to doubt and sent the disciples back to ask Jesus if He was the one they were waiting for (Matthew 11:2-3, 11). The wind and waves of uncertainty caused him to begin to sink. 

But Jesus did not rebuke John for his question; instead, He simply sent word back to him of the miracles He had worked: “tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them” (Matthew 11:4-5). In our doubt, the Lord rescues us by reminding us of who He is.

When Peter begins to doubt in Matthew’s story, Jesus is faithful to save him, too: “Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Jesus is not being harsh; He is inviting Peter to remember what He had already proclaimed: “It is I. Do not be afraid.” 

This passage is not about pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps and somehow ridding ourselves of all doubt. It is about Jesus’ identity and the authority we let it have in our lives. The wind and the waves will come, but He beckons us to remember who He is in the midst of them. The wind and the waves may cause us to sink, but God has already reminded us: “It is I who gives sight to the blind, it is I who lets the lame walk, it is I who cleanses the lepers, it is I who lets the deaf ears hear, it is I who raises the dead, it is I who casts out demons, it is I who feeds 5,000 people with two loaves and five fish, and it is I who walks on water. Do not be afraid.”

So to whom do we give more authority? The wind and waves? Or Jesus?

One of the most striking things to me in this passage is how Jesus walks on the water with such familiarity. He is able to calmly walk up to the disciples amidst the raging sea because He is the one who sent them ahead. He knew the storm would be there; it did not catch Him off guard. He already knows your storm, too. And just like with John the Baptist and Peter, the Lord will be gracious to rescue you in your doubt and remind you of who He is. Amen.

Sarah served as an intern for a year after graduating from Louisiana Tech with a degree in psychology. She is currently doing youth ministry and working on a farm in Havre de Grace, Maryland with her husband Joshua. Sarah was an impactful leader during her time at the wesley and we’re so excited to see the ways Jesus leads her in this new community she is currently serving in.