Even When We Don’t Pursue God, God Still Pursues Us: Tayt Thomas

Recently, I’ve had a few realizations. The first realization was concerning my prayer life. A few weeks ago, I realized that my prayer life had been lacking recently. I had been increasingly distracted during prayer, had been increasingly just trying to cross it off of my long list of things to do for the day, increasingly becoming aware of how much time I was spending trying to pray. Sometimes just not getting around to it. It was just becoming a harder and harder thing to do. When I realized what had been going on, I decided to make it one of my prayer requests during Community Group that week. I had also rededicated myself to taking prayer more seriously. I think once I began to see it as something I should enjoy doing and remember to devote myself to it and not just try and get it over with, prayer suddenly became a lot more doable, and spiritually filling! Not to say it still wasn’t effortful for me. Prayer seems to have always been a struggle of wrangling in my thoughts and focusing on the Word in front of me.

Another thing I realized came to me during a sermon by Bishop Richard Washington, who was our opening preacher for our 2025 Black Celebration at The Wesley. The previous week had been very busy for me. I was doing a lot of work helping to make sure our Winter Formal went well, whether that was decorating, collecting pine cones and branches for decor, or making sure one of the drinks we had planned would actually look and taste good. This was on top of an already busy schedule I had for that week. I had also not had a restful weekend; instead, it had just felt like a continuation of the weekdays. I was beginning to get annoyed with people, and even got sarcastic with one of my Community Group co-leaders (after group, not during. By the time Bishop Richard came around, I felt stretched thin and worn out. The realization I had during the sermon was that I had been relying on myself. Bishop Richard’s sermon very noticeably came from a place of huge faith and reliance on God. This made me realize that in the previous weeks, I had been trying to do everything by myself, for myself, and getting frustrated and worn out with the effort it took me to try and do things for God, but in my way and for my reasons. Having an attitude shift, refocusing on the fact that everything I was doing was supposed to be for the glory of God, became a new, reliable source of fuel for my efforts (not to say that rest itself isn’t important).

I think, overall, the things I have learned this quarter have been that I have to rely on God and bring everything to him. Our chapel has a prayer room in the back that I use most every weekday. After Bishop Richard’s sermon, I felt pulled out of my prayer time in John and into the John Wesley prayer we have printed out in the room. It goes like this:

“I am no longer my own, but thine.

Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.

Put me to doing, put me to suffering.

Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee,

exalted for thee or brought low for thee.

Let me be full, let me be empty.

Let me have all things, let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things

to thy pleasure and disposal.

And now, O glorious and blessed God,

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,

thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it.

And the covenant which I have made on earth,

let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.”

I’ve been praying this prayer for a little while now, and I think what I most often come back to is: “I am no longer my own, but thine.” This prayer reminds me that my life is not my own, that my actions don’t point toward myself, and that there is nothing I can do on my own to make my own life better. And, I think, maybe the most relevant thing that I had forgotten, is the joy that is to be had in being a Christian.

I think the thing I am trying to get to in all of this is that it’s a good thing that even when we’re not pursuing God, God still pursues us. When I wasn’t focusing on God, trying to just do things on my own, simply trying to get through prayer, and just going through the motions, God was still holding me in his hand. It’s a comfort, and ultimately a mercy, that when I don’t do everything I’m supposed to, and when I’m not making strides to better my relationship with God or to be more Christlike, I’m still covered by the blood of Jesus.

Tayt Thomas is a senior at Louisiana Tech majoring in Interdisciplinary Studies. Kind, patient, and easygoing, Tayt’s presence at The Wesley has been a huge source of encouragement to our community. He enjoys camping, bird watching, video games, and sci-fi media. He is also a member of this year’s Discipleship Team. Tayt is a tremendous blessing to us, and we love him dearly!