What Am I Waiting For?: Caleb Adcox

 “For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.” 

-1 Corinthians 1: 26-29

Honestly, I was more excited about being almost a senior last year than I am about being one this year. I look back and realize that I have spent most of college waiting for it to end, so I can get that magical piece of paper that lets me start doing the things I actually want to do. Ironically, one of the most immediate things I plan to do with my diploma is go to more school. But once I’ve gone to seminary, I will have another piece of paper, and this one will help me be a pastor, which I believe God is calling me to do. After that, I can work on getting ordained. Once I get ordained, I can start doing all the cool pastor things, and then I will actually be doing the things I want to do. Then I just have to discern the exact area of ministry I am called to, now that I finally meet all the qualifications, and dedicate myself to establishing or expanding that ministry. And after all that, when I am finally in a position to do what I have known since my sophomore year that God has been calling me to do, I can retire.

Sarcasm aside, this is a real struggle I have faced since realizing my calling to vocational ministry. Ever since I realized my undergraduate degree does not directly contribute to my vocation, I have found it all too easy to just sit around and wait until I can cross my degree off of the list of hoops I have to jump through before I eventually become a pastor. I regretted not realizing my calling sooner, so that I could have found a way to graduate earlier, or at least chosen a major that would have more impact on my eventual ministry. I wished there were better options for seminary that didn’t require an undergrad, or that I had taken one of the options that did exist, even if it would have limited my options further down the line. I wished I had more clear answers to the theological and logistical questions that will play a significant role in what area of ministry I end up in. 

I have frequently been discouraged by these feelings. At times, it felt as though God had pressed pause on my life, like He had set me on the back burner to come back to in a few years when I was ready. I would wonder why I wasn’t ready, what would have to change before I could start doing the things I was so certain God had made me to do. At times I even doubted if God had actually meant for me to be a pastor, or if I just really didn’t want to be an engineer and chose the next thing that popped into my head. At the same time, though, I began to realize I was wrestling with another question: What exactly was I waiting for?

I am not called to just a title or position. I do not have to wait for a milestone or qualification. I have already experienced the love and goodness of God, and I am called to share it with those around me. The Great Commission applies to all who hear it. There is no barrier to entry or list of qualifications. The single qualification is this: confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead. Beyond this, all that is needed is a willingness to follow the commands set before us. 

I thought I had to wait to fulfill my calling because I thought I had to be more than I am to make any sort of impact on the church. I sought wisdom and strength, instead of allowing the wisdom and strength of God to take the place of my own, to make me something more than I could become alone. I thought that I had to be good enough and wise enough to build and strengthen the ministry of the church.  But I have no power, no wisdom, nothing of my own with which to build. Nor am I called to be a builder. I am called to “bring to nothing things that are,” by nothing more than the power of God working in and through me. 

But what are these things that must be brought to nothing? Surely the work of ministry would be a creative and constructive one, meant solely to build and uplift. And in a world undamaged by sin, this would be the case. But that which must be torn down is the very sin that divides us from God, that obscures and restricts our calling to glorify Him. It is the fear, doubt, and prideful dependence on our own strength that was keeping me waiting, unsure if I was good enough to do the things God has made me to do. But the foolish shame the wise, and the weak shame the strong. God scatters the proud, brings down the mighty, and sends the rich away empty, so that He may lift up the poor and lowly. Why, then, do we wait, letting life pass us by as we reach endlessly for the perfect opportunity, for all the qualifications and preparation? If the Word of God is living and active and His Spirit dwells within us, then what else do we hope to bring to the table? 

Of course, seminary is still a wonderful institution, and I do still intend to pursue a higher scriptural education. But the call to ministry is not for a select few elites, nor does it begin behind a pulpit or at an ordination. It is, rather, a call to all the church, to be done not through wisdom,  but through faith for the glory of God alone.

Caleb is a joy to be around. Filled with the Holy Spirit, he is always ready with a dad joke, a smile, or a word of consolation. He will be a senior at LA Tech this upcoming school year studying Business, as well as a third year member of our Wesley Discipleship Team. We are so blessed to have him!