Silence in Prayer: Robert Dixon

For the past four years I have been studying Civil Engineering here at Louisiana Tech, and in May of this year I finally graduated. The day after graduation, our mission team left for Ethiopia (which was incredible, and I hope that everyone gets the opportunity to go on a mission trip someday). What I want to discuss today is an aspect of both mission and normal daily routine. 

My prayer life in the past few months has been extremely consistent. I have done lectio every day, and when it gets to the meditation part where I am listening most, I have experienced nothing but silence. I have been a Christian my entire life, and I have experienced long periods of silence before, but I have usually attributed the periods of silence to a lack of daily prayer or scriptural study. It still may be true that the reason I have experienced silence in the past is due to lack of attention and dedicated time, but I don’t believe that is what is going on in my life currently. Now, I do know that there is always more I could do. I could pray more, I could read more, I could meditate more. I am certain that for many reasons those would all be good things for me, however I am uncertain if that would lead to an encounter with God in my prayer and meditation. I say this because I do not believe it is a matter of doing more to try to get to God but a matter of letting God come to me.

When I first decided to apply for the Internship at The Wesley it was because I knew there was a job to do with work to be done, and I was the only person able and willing at that time to do it. I felt as if that was a clear enough message that it was the thing I should do with the next year of my life, and now I’m even more certain that it was. Three weeks ago, I started working as an Intern here at The Wesley. I was anxious to get started and see what it’d be like. I knew a lot about what being an Intern looks like during the school year, but I had a lot less clarity when it came to the summer. My first day as an Intern I was given a list of all the projects or tasks that needed to be accomplished, and by that afternoon I went to work. That first and second day I attempted to install a new toilet, and after finding out the hard way that there are different sized toilets, I finished installing a different toilet. In the first week I did various other tasks like trimming hedges, weed eating, and going to the  Tech Freshmen Orientation to invite students to The Wesley. At the end of the day on Friday of that week, I was tired. Being tired from doing work all dedicated towards the care and growth of The Wesley and the kingdom of God was a full and joyful experience. The past three weeks have been filled with more fulfilling good work, and going home tired has made me happy and excited to continue working. After reflecting on how good it felt to be working, I was reminded of a section of Thomas Merton’s New Seeds of Contemplation where he talks about work. In part of the third chapter titled “Seeds of Contemplation” he writes:

“The requirements of a work to be done can be understood as the will of God. If I am supposed to hoe a garden or make a table, then I will be obeying God if I am true to the task I am performing. To do the work carefully and well, with love and respect for the nature of my task and with due attention to its purpose, is to unite myself to God’s will in my work.” 

If I am diligent, and perform the tasks needed to allow The Wesley to continue to be a place where students meet and learn about God, the silence I am experiencing in prayer is not necessarily a cause for concern. I know what I am supposed to be doing, and I know that I am where God wants me. Dedicating myself to the work of caring for The Wesley and its members gives me a sense of peace that I can only understand as God-given. That knowledge is incredibly comforting. My goal is to continue to listen while praying and to be open while doing so, with the hope that when God does have something to say or communicate, I’ll hear it. Until the next time I get a clear message, I will continue to pour myself into the work at hand.

Robert Dixon (pictured here with girlfriend and former Intern Bekah Beck) is an Missionary Intern at The Wesley and someone dear to our hearts. He enjoys country music, playing guitar, fishing, hunting, and spending time in nature. We are grateful for his servant’s heart, and we look forward to his leadership this year!