Responding to the Uncomfortable: Earl Raue

This year’s Ethiopia mission trip was likely one of my fastest growing periods. In my youth, I had growth spurts, and it would keep me awake at night with cramps and aches. In a very similar fashion, my mind and my soul ached during the mission trip. This feeling is not one that I’m unfamiliar with due to my experience on last year’s mission trip through the Appalachian region. The importance of this analogy is less about pain and suffering, and more about responding to it. 

Last year’s mission trip made me uncomfortable in many ways, and through that I learned to trust God. Between events such as my car breaking down to having to go door to door to invite people to events at the church, I was given many opportunities to respond. Every situation I found myself in and every moment where I found no peace, God gently reminded me that He has never left my side, and that He never will. He enabled me to respond with acceptance and trust. The same is true for this year’s mission. From sleepless nights to unfamiliar conditions, I was again challenged and experienced growing pains. Like last year, I learned to trust and rely on God, but this year, He also taught me how to be uncomfortable. 

Though it may sound strange that God taught me how to be uncomfortable, it is not only a good thing, but the best thing for me. The time leading up to the mission was very difficult, and I encountered several struggles. These several months were a desperate and failed attempt to find and hold onto comfort without God. I was anxious, I was worried, and I was, in so many ways, absolutely freaking out because God allowed me to hear His voice one night before the mission. What He told me was that love does not force people to do anything, it gives those who are loved a choice. For me, that choice was whether or not I would go on this mission trip. God told me very clearly that I would be very uncomfortable, more than I have been in a very long time, and He warned me just as He had warned Abraham about the suffering that his descendants would face. But unlike Abraham, I sought comfort by running from God instead of submitting to His will and trusting Him. As the due date to sign up for the trip came closer and closer to its end, I remembered that God loves me and that He promised that He would never leave me, and so I knew that I could trust Him, and I finally agreed to go on the trip. Now that everything is said and done, it’s clear to me that God changed something in me last year that allowed me to grow this year. Last year, God taught me to trust Him, and because I trusted Him, I was able to go on this year’s mission trip and grow yet again. 

God taught me how to be uncomfortable, which as I mentioned before, sounds strange. It’s strange because we as humans are taught to instinctively avoid the things that frighten us, hurt us or make us uncomfortable. However, like a light in the darkness of my fear and doubt, God held out His hand and told me that I just need to trust Him. Over 30 hours of flying, over 50 hours of driving (being driven around), many meals, many welcomes and goodbyes, many thankful words said atop a mattress in the cool air of the night and with more experiences to learn and grow from, the mission was over. I got to play and minister to over 500 children, visit several new and astounding locations and was welcomed very well into a generous village with more hospitality than I’ve ever seen. 

Now that I’m here, I wish that I had written about how I felt before the mission. I want to know what was on my mind back then while it was still fresh and raw instead of having to rely on the distinct memory of struggling with worry and the fear of being uncomfortable. Looking back, I want to be able to speak to my pre-mission self so that I can give him a hug and tell him that he is going to have so much fun on mission, and that he can trust when God tells him that everything will be okay.

Now, thanks to both the Appalachia and Ethiopia mission trips, I can trust in God and find my peace in Him. A month away from my comforts was the challenge that God allowed me to walk through and grow from, and it was exactly what I needed. 

During this year’s trip, and like every moment of life, prayer was comforting and necessary. I was doing prayer on the book of Job, and through the book, God showed me what to do. Not only was I supposed to comfort my friends during this time as we all experienced great struggles, but I was also being guided by Job’s example to find my peace in God. In the book of Job, the devil was permitted to make Job greatly distressed, uncomfortable and to inflict upon him great pain and misery. Though my struggles were nothing compared to what Job had to go through, his example revealed God’s wisdom to me, which then empowered me and taught me how to respond. 

Job responded to God with faithfulness, reverence and respect even when it seemed that everyone had turned against him. The thing is, God will never let us go. He will never stop loving us, and He will never allow us to face something without His guidance. Sometimes we have to look for it, other times God opens our eyes and we see His guidance and wisdom immediately, and other times He reveals these things to us only when we seek it out. 

It has now been nearly a full month since the mission trip ended, and I can look back and see that God was holding me the entire time. He never forced me to do something, nor did He push me away or leave me by myself. Instead, He never left me and always helped me to trust in His love and care, especially when I was faced with the choice to submit to his plan or choose my own comfort. Everyone on the mission trip faced troubles and difficulties, and all of us were uncomfortable at one point or another for a variety of reasons. But God has blessed us and continues to do so every moment of every day as we live, breathe, love and trust because He loves us. Last year God taught me how to trust so that I could grow, and this year He taught me how to be uncomfortable so that I could love.

Earl is a devoted disciple of Christ and a good friend here at LA Tech Wesley. He is always available for an adventure or a good joke. A junior this upcoming school year majoring in English, we look forward to having his kind and gentle spirit around for years to come.