Since She Considered Him Faithful Who Had Promised: Camellia Jiles

“By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised.” - Hebrews 11: 11

I've been praying through Hebrews for lectio divina for a while now, and this verse has drawn me in time and time again. Its phrasing continues to strike a chord with me: “Sarah…received power to conceive…since she considered him faithful who had promised.” Because of her faith in God’s faithfulness she received power to do something virtually impossible for a woman her age. 

This verse from Hebrews is just a snippet of a passage dubbed "By Faith" in my Bible, a full chapter naming several people throughout scripture whose faith enabled them to do extraordinary things: Abel, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Moses, and so on. Towards the end of the chapter, the writer of Hebrews says: 

“And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephtah, of David and Samuel and the prophets-- who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection…” - Hebrews 11: 32-35

Basically, a whole lot of people were able to do incredible, otherwise impossible things because of their faith. 

But the verse about Sarah, out of all of these, resonates with me the most. Surely because she’s a woman, but also because I've been feeling particularly powerless lately. Recently, the struggles in my life have gotten to the point where there is nothing productive for me to do about them but to pray. I’ve felt helpless, and not just because God has been constantly reminding me that I can’t fix life’s problems all on my own (though that has been rough), but because I’ve been confronted more and more by my lack of faith, which is also something I can’t fix on my own. 

These often disappointing realizations have shaped the majority of my prayers for months. I’ve read this Faithful All-Stars list many times and felt the wide gap between those included in that list and myself, trying not to be discouraged as I become increasingly aware that my faith, in comparison, is supremely lacking. Developing that level of faith has felt, at times, as impossible as conceiving a child at the ripe old age of 90 or as a virgin. As someone who has always considered faith one of her spiritual strong suits, I often wonder why having true faith has become to feel so impossible.

But if I’m honest, this is actually nothing new. I can’t remember a period in my life when I didn’t struggle with worry. Countless times I've fretted over something, only for God to straightforwardly answer my desperate prayers, and to regret the time I wasted worrying (see: last night). These are the moments in my life where I’ve most often been confronted with my lack of faith, because at the root of my worry has been doubt that God would fulfill his promises to me. I have a vague image of whatever the thing I'm worried about crashing and burning (of God letting me crash and burn). But unsurprisingly, God has never let that happen, because He that promised to never leave me or forsake me is faithful.

The reality is that even though I’ve been feeling especially powerless lately, I’m actually always powerless in the grand scheme of things without God’s help. My weakness of faith is no different: I can’t just manifest more faith so that I can have a baby as a really old woman or walk through fire unharmed or on water without drowning; I need God’s help, with everything. What makes the people mentioned in Hebrews chapter 11 so inspiring isn’t that they had natural super powers to do the things they did, but that they had faith in God. They relied entirely on God and who they knew him to be, and through this they received power to do the “impossible”. This doesn’t mean that they didn’t have doubts, but that they submitted those doubts to the Father. While Mary’s first response at the Annunciation was “How can this be?” her next words were, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” How many things do I consider to be impossibilities for "someone like me" that are only impossible because I don't believe in God's power to bring them about? How many things would we be empowered to do if we deeply believed in God's faithful and kind nature? 

This is easier said than done. Thankfully, that’s where prayer comes in. We can ask for more faith, despite how optimistic we may feel about it at the time. God will honor our prayers because he is faithful to his people, a mountain of refuge and strength to which we can continually come.

May we not rule things out for the sake of realism, but fully immerse ourselves in the inconceivable power of God. May we have faith that God can make us faithful, as faithful as Sarah and Mary and countless others before us. God will show us even more incredible wonders.

“Nathanael replied, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!”  Jesus answered, “Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than these.” - John 1:49-50

Camellia (ft. here with fiancé and fellow Wesley-worker Akin) is a 2020 graduate of Louisiana Tech with a degree in Studio Art and is currently serving as Associate Director at the Wesley after two years as a Ministry Intern. She is a joy to be around and a great blessing to the Wesley community. Camellia loves art, thrift shopping, laughing loudly, learning new gardening skills, ranting about TV shows, and spending quality time with others.