Even Better Than Just "Alright": McCall Rae
When I think of all that has happened in my life in the past year, I’m kind of astounded. There are multiple dreams that have been in my prayers for years that I am now seeing fulfilled. Since I was a freshman in high school, I wanted to be a physical therapist. I doubted that any school would let me in, so I cast a wide net when applying, and to my surprise, I was accepted into multiple schools. I’m in my 3rd semester of PT school, and while it is very challenging, I am still grateful to be here and for the work I will get to do. Next on the list of answered prayers, I got married and have a man named Ryan in my life whom I get to call my husband. That DEFINITELY isn’t something I thought would be the case at this point in my life. Third, I moved to a big city in a different state, which is something I’ve always wanted to experience.
I’d love to say that all of this has been the best time ever, that I make straight A’s in school, get 8 hours of sleep a night, wake up in time to take our pup Franny on a walk every morning, have quiet/prayer time before school, workout in the evenings, and cook dinner for my husband every night… but that is definitely not the case. The truth is, all the transitions of the past 8 months have been really hard. Even basic things like eating and sleeping have been difficult. Spending time with Jesus has been hard. Leaving family and friends who are like family is something that Ryan and I have had to grieve. Learning everything I need to know in order to earn my Doctorate in Physical Therapy by May of 2025, while also leaving room in my life to be a good wife and friend, still feels like a task that is too much for me to complete sometimes.
I’ve been thinking of how many times in my life I’ve felt like something was too much for me to complete in the time I was given. I’ve realized that at all of those times, I did, in some way or another, end up completing the task, and everything that I feared would go terribly wrong turned out “alright” and a lot of times even better than just “alright”. I’ve tried to figure out how to make myself believe with full confidence that everything will continue to be okay, and I think I’m starting to get there, but I’m not there yet.
When the new year started, the preacher at our new church kept saying that the things you wanted for the year should be written down on paper. At first I was reluctant (probably because I was afraid to write them down, because then I could be held accountable for those things), but after 2 more weeks of hearing that I should do that, I decided I would. The things I wrote down were not super specific, but I decided, again, that I would cast a wide net in hopes that doing so would give me a bigger chance to succeed. My list includes: 1) Take care of your soul; 2) Take care of your body; 3) Take care of each other; 4) Saturday = Sabbath. I haven’t done all of these things perfectly in the last couple of weeks, but the list is taped on the refrigerator (even though I wanted to hide it in a drawer so nobody would know, just in case I decide I don’t want to do those things anymore), and now you know too. In the last few weeks, I’ve begun to look around and see all of the ways that God is making a way for me to accomplish all of these items on my list. It’s been a mix of bigger and smaller ways, but I’ll share a few with you in no particular order. I found a new greenway that is only 9 minutes from where we live, AND it runs alongside a river. I have missed taking walks on the greenway in Ruston and just being able to spend time outside in the midst of creation, and now I have a new place to take my dog for a walk (or let my dog take me for a walk) and enjoy the sunshine and quiet time. I found an exercise group that has adaptive exercise classes through Zoom at four different times every weekday. I found this by accident because I was researching information about Cerebral Palsy (CP) for potential research topics in the future, and I found a website that offers free exercise classes for people with this disability. I have CP, it’s FREE, the time of classes worked with my schedule, and I need to exercise, so I thought I’d try it out. Little did I know that this community, called Staying Driven, would be something that’s been missing in my life for a long time. For the first time ever, I don’t dread working out! All of the exercises are doable for everyone in the class, no matter the person’s level of ability, and there are modifications for each exercise that are actually useful (unlike almost all other fitness classes I’ve attempted to participate in.) My school schedule allows me to get home earlier in the afternoon, which gives me more time to spend doing lectio divina AND less time in afternoon traffic on some days. As I pay more attention to all of the ways that my desires and prayers for my life are being fulfilled, I’ve started to remember some verses and phrases that I have committed to memory in the years that I’ve been practicing lectio:
“In due time”
“Neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who makes things grow.”
“Blessed is she who has believed the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.”
I recalled these lines from Scripture, along with the phrase “The Lord is near” that I’ve picked up recently when praying and meditating in the book of Psalms. I realized that that is exactly where He is, and that’s where He’ll always be. I realized that I can only be where I am today, doing what I’m doing, with all of the people I have in my life, because of His nearness to me. I needed this reminder because I get so busy, overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious that sometimes it seems like everything and everyone is so far away, except for the next exam or deadline (and Franny because she requires more skin-to-skin contact than any dog I’ve ever known). I forget that I can eat and breathe and go outside for an hour without thinking about pathology or muscles or what the contraindications for ice and heat modalities are. I’ve been reminded that I need to rest if I want to be able to function without my body and mind breaking down. Jesus is showing me, for the thousandth time, that He is going to take care of me, and that everything will be alright, or maybe even better.
McCall (featured here with husband Ryan) is a former Wesley intern and a lasting blessing to our community. She is currently in her first year of physical therapy school at Tennessee State University, and enjoys going to concerts at the Ryman, making muffins, salsa, and homemade ice cream. She is wise, hard-working, faithful, and an overall joy to be around!