God is in the Passenger Seat: Pete Mace

One month ago, I made a move that changed my whole life. The first Saturday morning after finishing two years of being a Wesley intern and 6 years of being a part of Wesley’s ministry, I woke up and said goodbye to a group of the people I had come to know and love. People that I had spent every day working, laughing, and living life with for years. I then got into the U-Haul that held all my worldly possessions and started what would be two full days of driving up to North Carolina to attend seminary and begin my own ministry as a student pastor. This wasn’t the first time I’ve moved halfway across the country to a place unknown. In fact, that’s how I ended up at Tech and Wesley in the first place. But this time was different, as I got into my car and drove away, the cost of what I was leaving behind was so much more evident to me. I was leaving the place I called home, the people that had become a family to me. I would miss birthdays, celebrations, tragedies. I am now removed from the daily lives of the people and ministry I love. I’ve done my best so far to keep in touch with the people back home in Ruston, but there is a geographical distance and an aspect of daily interaction that phone calls and video chats just can’t overcome. 

Those days driving alone and the following weeks have been the most time I’ve spent alone in recent memory. After spending years being in ministry and fellowship with students and interns for most of the day every day, I found myself now spending most if not all of my time each day by myself. And this sudden shift to spending most of my time alone has been difficult for sure, but as I’ve gained some distance from the moments of my separation and the pain of leaving, I’ve seen the ways that God has also blessed me in these times of solitude. They have been times for reflection, quiet, rest, laughter, tears, and most importantly a time to remember that no matter where I go, God has laid His claim on me. I’ve found that no matter where I go, and no matter who I have to say goodbye to, I never have to say goodbye to God, that He is always there right beside me. 

As I find myself in a new place where I don’t quite know anybody and beginning the process of rebuilding my life, I’ve been continuously rediscovering my need to rely on this God who is right there by me and the fact that He will always be with me wherever He may send me. It may not be as obvious sometimes, but He is still supporting me and has not abandoned me to the wilds. I’ve begun to see the ways that He has been extending His hands out in love to me ever since I got here. Whether that be in old friends unexpectedly reaching out, new friends being made, or learning to be ok in the alone-ness, slowly but surely, God has been helping me to learn how to live in this next phase of life from the moment I closed that car door in Louisiana. 

When I attended Tech, I was an out-of-state student. Driving back home to Georgia and to family in North Carolina was a consistent part of my life, and I’ve spent many hours alone in a car, traveling from one place where God has blessed me to another. I’m sure that in these coming few years while I attend school in NC, I’ll be spending a fair few hours driving back to LA to be reunited with my family of believers that are still in Ruston. And what I’ve discovered during all these hours alone is that there is no driving to a place where God isn’t. That wherever we go, even if it’s to places unknown and situations terrifying, that God is in that passenger seat. He goes right into those situations with us.

I’ve also come to realize that that pain I experienced when I left Louisiana, while beginning to dull, will probably never go fully away. God was in the passenger seat with me there too, providing for me and showing me His love through the people of Wesley. And honestly, I’ve found that I don’t want to lose that pain. It serves as a reminder of the joy and the wonders that I experienced during my time as a student and intern. I honestly pray that when the students and interns of the coming years have to leave, they experience it as well, because it means that our time together was worth something and that it had meaning. And I say all this keeping in mind that I will be going back one day, God willing, that this separation is a season, not a life. I have kept in mind something we say each week at Eucharist when we prepare to send the people of God back into the world:

“May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you, wherever He may send you. May He guide you through the wilderness, protect you through the storm. May He bring you home rejoicing at the wonders He has shown you. May He bring you home rejoicing, once again, into our doors.” 

I’ve adopted this into my own church’s liturgy as well, planting into the minds of the body of believers that God will always bring us back together. We may not be the same, some things will always change, but we have the promise that God will always bring us back into the body of believers. And while sometimes it may be a week, or a month, or a year, I’ve learned that no matter how long our journeys take, we will always have a travel companion. 

Amen

Pete Mace (Middle) has been a faithful friend, brother, and servant of Christ here at Wesley for the past 6 years. Just now beginning a four year stay at divinity school, he will be sorely missed and we look forward to his return.