Sifting Through the Grass for Nails: Jon Henderson

As a Missionary Intern at the Wesley, I knew that eventually my time as part of the staff would come to an end. This not only applied to me, but also to my fellow interns. As painful and bittersweet as this ending is, it’s a good and necessary one. The end of the internship is an interesting time because you can’t help but reflect on the last year. This time of reflection comes as I help finish projects and prepare others for the next group that will come behind me to finish them. Working on these projects, such as the barn we have been building for the last year, has given me lots of time to think about how the internship has helped me grow. 

As we cleaned up the Wesley on the last day of the internship, I found myself gently swinging a magnet the size of a baseball attached to a string. I would spend the better part of that morning swaying this magnet back and forth in my best efforts to collect every loose screw or nail we may have dropped during our work on our new fence and barn. I’ve learned that I really enjoy a task like using this magnet or power washing, where I can turn my brain off to the task and think or talk to God. That morning as the sweat would run down my arms I thought about how different my life had become and how it was going to change in the near future. I am a better person than I was a year ago. I was someone who was prone to worry about everything, but now I am much better about leaving things up to God to handle and decide how things will be done. A year ago I would have obsessed and spent the entire day sifting through every blade of grass in the backyard to ensure I wouldn't miss a single nail or screw. But that morning I trusted that I had done a good job trying to pick up as many nails as I could possibly find. I was at peace knowing I wasn’t paranoid that I somehow missed a million nails and that everyone would think I had failed at such a simple task. I felt free from my imposter syndrome that I had felt most of my life. This feeling of being an imposter is most likely to crop up during seasons of change.

Most people don’t like change, but change will always happen whether we like it or not. This change I’ve learned to accept is a combination of things that I am excited for and of things that I have been dreading. I am sad that most of the interns are leaving Ruston. I feel selfish wanting them to stay when God is calling them to different places for the sake of the Kingdom and for the next chapter of their life. I am happy though that they are starting new chapters that include being married and becoming pastors and theologians. The people I have spent almost every day of this last year with are suddenly and quickly leaving before I’m ready for it, but at the same time my heart lights up knowing God will continue to guide and protect them just like he has up to now. I am going to miss not being as close to the students as I was when I saw them everyday as an intern. The inside jokes will change, and I wont get messages in the group chat at two in the morning. But I will get to see the students grow closer together and become the next leaders of the Wesley, willing to pick up his Cross and make more disciples.

To let you behind the curtain like in “The Wizard of Oz”, I am not the most elegant with words, but I have begun to write more, especially about the Wesley and my observations. I also have been crying a lot behind this curtain. These tears represent so many emotions from this past year. As I write this now I have to wipe tears off Akin’s laptop and dry my eyes with my shirt. I cry as I look back and see how much God has given me peace, acceptance of change, joy, and confidence. I cry because God used the Wesley to give and teach me these things and it is now that I realize how much this place truly means to me. I will still be around Wesley and attend the weekly services, but it won’t be quite the same and that's okay. It’s okay because there will be new memories to make with the Wesley post internship. I look forward to new memories of students bringing people to Wesley for the first time. I look forward to getting married to my fiance, Chlese, in its beautiful sanctuary and for it to be in the same place I get to watch my beautiful goddaughter get baptized. I am excited for the new memories to be made at the Wesley, both those with and without me, but for the new memories to happen, the current ones have to finish.

Jon is a treasure to our Wesley community. A faithful friend, servant, and jokester, his kindness and dedication to whatever he does has been an encouragement to countless individuals who have come through our doors. His service as a Missionary Intern has been a blessing not just to the Wesley, but to the entire Body of Christ. We are forever grateful for him!